Thursday, December 15, 2005
Man I'm so unhappy at the moment. It's nearly Christmas which is pretty much my favourite time of the year but the thought of it is just making me sad. I was really expecting to have my thesis finished and submitted by now but there's still heaps to do. I get up every morning, not especially early sometimes, switch the computer and then .... nothing. I want to get it done but it just isn't happening. I hate it so much. I hate the way I have gone from a fairly chirpy soul to a miserable, skint bitter person. I just can't do it. I know that I am clever and have mostly worked hard and that I am as deserving to get a PhD as everyone else I know but sometimes it takes a lot of convincing.
I always knew doing a PhD would be hard and that I picked about the hardest PhD available to me (what can I say - I get bored easily and wanted something a bit different and a challenge). What I never knew, and is never mentioned by anyone is how emotionally hard it would be (and still is being). I'm not an especially emotional person and doing this had made me confront some pretty horrible feelings.
anyway that's quite enough moaning for now. and I WILL get this bastard thesis finished sooner rather than later.
I always knew doing a PhD would be hard and that I picked about the hardest PhD available to me (what can I say - I get bored easily and wanted something a bit different and a challenge). What I never knew, and is never mentioned by anyone is how emotionally hard it would be (and still is being). I'm not an especially emotional person and doing this had made me confront some pretty horrible feelings.
anyway that's quite enough moaning for now. and I WILL get this bastard thesis finished sooner rather than later.
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