Friday, March 24, 2006
Fed up week
I dunno what's up with me this week. I feel like I've got PMT despite not being anywhere near starting my period. Recently I have finally felt like I've been making some decent progress with getting the PhD thesis written. I now have a meeting once a week with one of my supervisors and aim to get a half decent draft thesis chapter to him. Unfortunately I got really discouraged this week. I worked really hard to get 2 chapters in for the meeting on wednesday and then in the meeting to discuss the work I'd given him previously he just moaned about the poor English and written standard of the work, rather than the content. Which is fair enough but I told him before that it was only a really rough draft and that the english was appalling and embarassing and I'm actually a much more competent writer, all I wanted to know was if I'd understood the principles OK and was on the right track contents-wise.
I'm also fed up as I'm trying to work on my last results chapter and it's so hard. Despite how I may come across on this blog I'm actually quite a bright perky optimist. I love doing stuff and being able to do it well. I know that life isn't fair but I can't help feeling that most people don't understand the situation I'm in with my PhD. I've totally moved area (from a BSc and MRes in bioscience to a PhD in physical chemistry and physics) and I've had to teach myself with virtually no support, all the background and founding principles that fit with the experimental methods I have used. I've had such a miserable time through most of this project despite getting some good results and some positive outcomes. It's just been like an uphill struggle for the past 3 1/2 years. I don't really mind having to learn all these difficult and new theories myself but tied in with an unisterested, uninvolved and unsupportive main supervisor, a main lab group where everyone is seriously depressed, a second lab miles away from my home department, a lot of time spent on my own and various other issues have made my time here feel very sad, lonely and isolated.
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